What’s New during Pregnancy?
If you have never been pregnant before, pregnancy is full of new surprises and new sensations. In your first trimester, your daily nausea may be something new for you. In your second trimester, you notice your pants getting tighter, as your baby bump develops. And in your third trimester, the experience of having someone inside you kicking your uterus is amazing! And new. And exciting. And surprising. Yes, pregnancy is full of surprises and new experiences.
In general, surprises and new experiences can be good or bad. Having a car accident may be a new experience for you, but it is definitely a bad, new experience. Receiving flowers from your partner on Mother’s Day when you are pregnant is a good, new experience.
Our brains are wired to keep us safe. Our brains like routines and predictable events. So new experiences can feel threatening to our brains. New experiences and surprises during pregnancy can make our brains get very anxious.
In order to keep joy at the center of your pregnancy, you need to change the way your brain thinks of new experiences. Rather than being afraid of them, you can be curious about them. You can wonder if these changes that we're experiencing are common experiences shared by other pregnant women. You can also talk to friends and family members who have been pregnant about their experiences with new changes in their body during their pregnancies.
One good question to ask the OB during every prenatal visit is this: “What new symptoms can I expect between now and my next visit with you?”
Sara’s Story
Sara was delighted when she found out she was pregnant at her OB’s office. After all, she had been trying to get pregnant for six months and was beginning to worry that it would never happen. At her 8 week visit, the nurse listened to the baby’s heart using a fetal doppler. When Sara and her partner heard the heartbeat, they nearly cried with joy. The nurse remarked to them that the heartbeat was “easy to find” and was “very strong.”
At the next visit, Sara was seen by a different nurse. This nurse seemed new to Sara, as she kept leaving the exam room to ask her supervisor about the paperwork that needed to be completed. When the nurse listened to the baby’s heartbeat using a fetal doppler, she struggled to find it. The few minutes that it took the nurse to find the heartbeat seemed like hours to Sara who was “terrified.” What is the baby is dead? She whispered to herself.
Once the nurse found the heartbeat, Sara was still anxious. On the drive home, she cried. She felt that something must be wrong with the pregnancy because it took so long for the new nurse to find the heartbeat. She carried the anxiety with her throughout her pregnancy.
When events in pregnancy are new, our brains can often make us anxious about them. It’s like our brain defaults to thinking of something new as dangerous and threatening.
Becca’s Story
Becca was so happy to get through her first trimester of pregnancy without miscarrying. After all, she had miscarried her first two pregnancies at 8 weeks. In her second trimester, when she noticed some tightening and pain on her left side, she thought for a moment about Googling her symptoms. But then she decided against it. Instead of worrying about the symptoms, she became curious about what she was feeling. She wondered if these new experiences were related to her uterus growing now that she had a baby bump. The thought of her uterus growing made her happy.
At her next OB visit, Becca told her doctor about the discomfort which had gone away after a few days. The doctor explained that it was probably round ligament pain, as the ligaments around the uterus must stretch and grow a bit during pregnancy. At the end of the visit, Becca asked the OB about other new symptoms that she might experience during her second trimester.