Nurturing Fathers

It is 2024, and we are almost a quarter of the way into the 21st century. The women’s movement, begun in the 1970s, is now 50 years old. Directly due to this movement, women have unprecedented access to education and opportunities for meaningful work and careers.

Over two-thirds of women with children have full-time employment outside the home. Most couples with children feel that mothers are inherently more nurturing towards their children than are fathers. But most couples also feel that men have latent caretaking tendencies that, given the right circumstances, can render a man every bit as caring and nurturing as the most committed mother.

Sarah Hrdy, a sociobiologist, knows that this is true. Her research on the natural history of men and babies focuses on when and how these nurturing emotions arose in males. Her conclusion? Fathers are primed for nurturing children in a way very similar to how mothers are primed.

What does it take for these nurturing emotions to be expressed? From her research, she has concluded that the male brain is primed for nurturing and childcare and can rise to the occasion should the right circumstances arise.

And what are the right circumstances? According to Hrdy, upon becoming a father, a man’s oxytocin and prolactin levels rise. These are two hormones that are high in women post-partum and allow for nurturing emotions, bonding, and lactation. Interestingly, the degree of rise of oxytocin and prolactin in new fathers correlates with the amount of time the father spends with the baby. Hrdy calls this the “time in intimate proximity.” So a father’s nurturing emotions seem to be dependent on the amount of quality time he spends with the baby.

Thus, there is a universal brain-based caregiving instinct that is present in both mothers and fathers. When fathers have “time in intimate proximity” to the baby, these nurturing hormones flourish.

Hrdy, Sarah. (2024). Father Time. Princeton University Press.